EX-GIRLFRIENDS

This page is dedicated to the lovely ladies who've filled my life with joy and beauty.

"Long Legged" Lorraine

I met Lorraine at the Elks Lodge Club in my hometown on Christmas Eve.  She walked in, lit up a Pall Mall and she had my heart.  Lorraine must have danced to 6 or 7 Bob Seger albums that night...The neon lights glimmering off her Coors Light belt buckle...Woo! Lorraine and I had some good times but I just couldn't keep up with her nasty Keno Habit. A lovely lady nevertheless...

"JOYFUL" JOYCE

I met Joyce at Kohl’s. I was perusing through the different cool Hawaiian shirts for my upcoming BBQ.  She was working in the suit department, asked me if I needed a hand.  I said no, but I could use an honest opinion.  Do I go with a Medium or a Large?  She says, I think it’s sexy when a man is just swimming in his shirt. Next thing you know, I’m in a XL Hawaiian buying us shots down at Sully’s Tavern till 3am.  I just couldn't get enough about her knowledge of 80s hair metal. But she said she was married too many times and couldn't settle down. I hope she's well...

"SHAKE EM' UP" SHERYL

I often felt like Sheryl and I got off on the wrong foot. Sure she liked to have a good time, but I must be in more debt from buying her glamour shots than my own college education. And boy would she lie to me!  She'd say she's going out with the girls, and then I find her down at the antique car show dancing on some guys Camero! But I'll never forget what she said to me one warm summer night...she said I'll let you find all 7 of my Betty Boop tattoos...Well, not very romantic but she sure did drive me crazy...